The Usefulness of Being Useless

Today had been a busy day for me, just like the day before. After many years of service, it was time for a change in furniture, my old desk and wardrobe being on the verge of collapse with the weight of the stuff and junk stored.

Seriously, my family tends to hoard 'junk', and hoard it for many, many years before actually disposing of it. This stems from our shared belief that "waste not, want not" and there is always a possible use in the future for such stuff. So we end up keeping such stuff, eventually even forgetting about them until the time comes to replace furniture or clear space for new furniture and then all this stuff just pops up.

It's a pity that the dusts of time have such a presence in my home; much of such stuff gets thrown away in the end due to the ceaseless oxidation of time, dust and atmospheric oxygen.

But clearing such junk sometimes brings back many memories, of happy moments forever lost in time but nicely preserved in memory. Today, I finally disposed of my high school and primary school uniforms and some of my 'worn clothing', but I couldn't help but remember the times when I actually wore them, when my Dad was younger and the world seemed to be a brighter and more colourful place. I also can't help but remember the happier times when I was in love, when the world was Paradise and
everything seemed to fit together nicely.

Times have changed so much. It almost feels like looking into another person's life, or remembering what happened in a previous reincarnation. Just like how my stuff gets worn and dusty, Time has also changed me a lot, hopefully always for the better.

Hey, I may have a forgetful mind and appear to be blur at times but I still have memories of my past, to remember, reflect, relish and regret.

It comes close to 2 years now and the wounds are healing, but at times the memory of the pain reminds me, alongside the emptiness. I've never liked to walk alone, and I never will; that is just not me. But Fate seems to have other plans for me now: such are the mysterious ways of Life. All I can do now is hope and pray that, down this path, I will find my Faith and finish this journey together with her, always together and never apart.

In chinese philosophy, there is this saying that nothing is truly useless, for even that which is useless is 'useful' in being useless. In clearing out the 'junk' today, they have been useful in triggering recollections of the past. Truly, there is even a usefulness in that which is useless.

So I guess that there should still be some use for 'useless, old me'?

DreamCatcher